Must read: The Nigerian woman and the challenge of finding Mr Right – Alibaba

I have a serious matter at hand that I want to share. In fact, I should have shared this long ago, but the primary message from a friend that prompted the matter, was lost in between the series of inbox messages from those strange girls that are looking for romantic friendships on Facebook.
In a nutshell, a lady friend sent me an inbox message on how it’s harder to find a good man in Nigeria. And that the men who are “manageable” (her words, not mine) are so scarce and if you ever get them they are either married to a lady that does not deserve them or just repenting from a bad marriage from one of such women. Or even just lost faith in the whole marriage thing.

I later ran into her at a club. After the usual introductions that have become common place with these social media network of friends… (You are my friend on twitter, Facebook, Tango, INSTAGRAM… That kind of thing)…. I chatted with her a bit and found out from what she told me, that, many women are now settling for anything in between MR Right, MR Not just ok and MR Nearly right. As she put it, it’s now a case of looking at what a guy checks out in the top 10 box… And if he has 3 out of 10, snap him up… Work on the rest 7, if you are lucky, you can get him to add 3 more of those top10 qualities… And begin to pray it lasts for as long as you both can manage.

Much as I tried, to get her to rate me, she said, she can only rate someone who is on her radar. So ladies have relationship radar? Yes of course. You think you were not in Mary’s radar, and she waited for you to come back after you… ? Ouch!!! (That was my guy who was listening in on our private conversation) I wasn’t on Mary’s radar…. I managed to mutter. Then she fooled you wellllll. She quickly added.

It got me thinking… What does a man need to show to get on any woman’s radar? Money, sense of humor, fame, dress sense, good job, intelligence, good diction, good physique, some visible signs of affluence, confidence,… She let me continue for a while, raised her glass of Henessy VSOP, downed it, and said, “He must first be AVAILABLE. Then you can begin to check out the rest.” So I asked, do I look available? She said, “Of course, to the people who do not care if you are married, you are very available! Not to me, OOO. Mary was my boss at Platinum. So that strikes you out.” So I asked the next possible question, “so what can I do to look unavailable?” There is nothing. You are even an easy pick. She added. Any man who has a source of income, popular, dresses well, tall, handsome small sef, has a car, is in the circles of successful people, looks like he has potentials to become somebody important and can pay the bills…

Our conversation started having K-leg when she lit a cigar, not cigarette, Cuban cigar and started smoking. I took a good look at her, and realized that, these women who are looking for a MR Right all over Lagos, may just have met him but he is also looking for a woman who doesn’t drink alcohol or smoke anything at all. That is the wahala. As you are looking for MR right, he might be dodging you because you are all shades of wrong…

While you are looking waiting for a guy to walk in and fit into your radar, you are doing some things that also confine you to the “never my type” hemisphere…

So, in conclusion, just as good men are hard to find, “manageable” ladies are unicorns!!!!
What is GOOSE for Uganda… Is GOOD for PERU

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