Adenike Adebayo: Ramblings of a teenage mum (30 Days, 30 Voices)

Posted by: stiphbami in GIST Nov 7, 2012

It’s been one year, Oh wow!
One beautiful, amazing and busy year since I had my son. It hasn’t been easy though. No, scratch that, it’s been very difficult! Life as a teenage mum is hard; nevertheless, motherhood is a beautiful thing.

I remember when I found out I was pregnant. I thought it was the end of all my dreams, my goals and my aspirations. I thought – ALL GONE!!! ‘I’m going to pay for this mistake forever’ I told myself kicking myself over and over again. I was just 18yrs and a few months but I knew I wasn’t going to abort the baby. I have always been against abortion. It’s not a religious or society thing; it’s just a ‘Nike’ thing. So I kept the baby and went through a lot but it was worth it.

This is where friendship comes in. I have amazing friends. My inner circle is very small to be sincere, but they are ‘true’ friends. They helped me get through the difficult times. They are still with me. They still have my back and are still there for me.

I shut everyone out. I was mad at myself. I didn’t want to admit it but i needed my friends. I had mixed feelings. ‘I’m going to be a mum’ I would gladly tell myself; but then I would think of the shame and stigmatisation that comes with being a teenage mum and then again, I’d console myself by saying ‘after all, millions of women are desperately looking for this gift. So why waste mine?’

I went through a lot but I found strength from within. Most of us go through stuff like this and just give up on life without fighting. Really? Did you think life would just be one sweet ride? No way! If that were the case,most people won’t commit suicide. I learnt from my mistake and I didn’t just make up excuses, I grew up!

Nine months passed and I had my bundle of joy. Then it hit me, ‘you are responsible for another life now’
Courage is very important. It’s a great thing. When you need that courage to do things, always look within. No one can help you like you. Others would try but you are the only one that can save you.

A mother’s love they say, is the best. I totally agree. Most of us youths don’t appreciate our mothers. We feel they are disturbing our lives but the truth is, all they want is our happiness and our success but you wouldn’t understand this until you become a mother yourself. When you go through the pain of childbirth and the worry that come with being a parent, then you would know how it hurts when a child you went through so much for starts to disrespect you. Mothers should be worshipped!

The truth is, life is not easy. Life is beautiful but not easy. Nothing good comes easy. You just have to fight, be strong and if you give up just because you tried once and failed, you would never succeed. I’m not perfect. I made my mistakes but I didn’t let them define me. Bad things happen to good people. Good people fall sometimes but we all go through things. It’s what we do after the fall that matters. Are you just going to lay down there? Or will you get up, dust yourself and move on.

Time is very important and what we do with it matters. Most of us use our time on things that draw us back in every way. Time cannot be gotten back if wasted and it’s too short to be wasted.

After I had my baby, I was home and my time was wasting. I didn’t get admission that year and I didn’t just let the time waste on. I worked, used my time positively and can say I’m doing just fine now.
I may be 20, but I can confidently say that I am a proud mother of an amazing boy, a hard worker and a future CEO.

Take a minute to think about what would’ve happened if I had just accepted failure and continued to roll in self pity. What would’ve happened?

I thank God I have amazing people around me and I can tell you that when you surround yourself with the right people, life will be way easier.

______________
Adenike Adebayo – is a young ambitious teenage mum, blogger (www.dayniike.blogspot.com), online publicist, works as a social media manager for Ipublicizenaija and a future film maker and video director and producer. Follow her on twitter – @Adenike_A

30 Days 30 Voices series is an opportunity for young Nigerians to share their stories and experiences with other young Nigerians, within our borders and beyond, to inspire and motivate them.