DEAR FUTURE�HUBBY…

I’m sure someone is expecting me to write a long list of rules and regulations, but the truth is I’m too lazy to do that. Besides, the simple rules to follow are Appreciation and care(figure it out).

Early one Friday morning, I was ironing my dad’s Buba and Sokoto. Well, according to him the drycleaner didn’t do it to his satisfaction and since I wasn’t doing anything that morning, I had to put myself to use.

As I carried the heavy lace to the ironing table, something crossed my mind and I actually had to laugh out loud. Will I ever do this for my future husband? Wash and iron his cloths? He might have to exchange that for changing the baby’s diaper and washing the dishes in the sink, that should make us even…. Right? *evil grin*
The thought that struck my mind that morning reminded me of something that happened a while ago on twitter, it was an argument on if a girlfriend can wash her boyfriend’s cloths. So many people didn’t think well before jumping into other people’s mentions to say stuffs and of cos it led to blind arguments and some led to twitfights, I think the topic trended throughout that day. The truth is people have different views about certain stuffs, sometimes one’s background/upbringing has a lot to do with it. The fact that someone can wash her husband’s boxers doesn’t guarantee a good attitude and neither does it make you a better house wife material, some guys won’t even let you do it.

After chatting with some of my girlfriends, I came to the conclusion that what really matters in cases like this is understanding. Enjoy different views from my friends and the reasons behind their decisions.

Ok! Y’all should meet my friend, Adaobi! Lemmi just say that this young lady is an ‘Efiko’ she’s extremely brilliant and God fearing. Aii… Enough about her;
Taemie: Can you wash and iron for ur husband, I’m talking of doing it every weekend like normal laundry stuff?
Dhobie: hmmm. Normally, I dnt lyk washing my own clothes sef :& if its about doing stuffs for my husband every weekend, y not? As long as he appreciates it and I derive joy doing it. D laundry part, I doubt it, I cud wash his car.
Taemie: Loool, you’ll rather was car? :B)
Dhobie: I swear down, I hate washing clothes. Washing machine na the way.
Now I remember stating specifically that this friends of mine is a brainy, she likes solving hard challenges, like why would you prefer to wash car instead of clothes? *believe me there’s a mystery behind dt * Issorai.

Now, this particular friend of mine is a doctor in the making so you can imagine how busy she is and how busy she’s always going to be. I asked her the normal question this was her response.
Oladayo: haha! I can wash his underwear and all but I doubt if I’d have TIME to wash mine much less his… But if I am ironing or something and his needs ironing, sure I can. Washing underwear every week no p, clothes hmmn… doubt that.
Taemie: aii dear! Thank you so much for your time.

Another interesting chat I had that day was with someone that shares the same opinion with me almost every time, like we just always have the same thing to say about a particular situation.
Taemie: Can you wash and iron for ur husband, I’m talking of doing it every weekend like normal laundry stuff?
Salewa: hahahahahaha! This one hard o. uhmmm in as much as I hate it, I think I can. So long as he doesn’t sit down in front of d tv n still expect me to do his shii n still do the house chores and take care of the children.
The scripture made it clear dt d woman tks care of the home and should be submissive to her husband.
Taemie: =d yea! Dts the point. You can’t sit down, cross ur legs nd expect me to wash ur crap. We gats share the duties.
Salewa: Exactly! Yet d guys wld b like ewwww they can’t wash our pants :& I can’t even let him wash it yuk!
Errr… The convo continued sha but I’m sure you get the point already. :p.

Moving on, sincerly! Before I pinged this person to start the chat, I kinda already knew her answer but omo I was shoked to hear what she had to say o, she gave me hot ela (//_o)

Taemie: Can You wash and Iron for ur husband? I’m talking of doing it every weekend like normal laundry stuff.
Bimpe: Nope
Taemie: (-__- ) Bimpe! Just like dt?
Bimpe: yes na, washing machine ma wa. Hahahahahaha. Ryt now, cos my weekends have been so busy
Washing cloths of life, not finished it yet. Now adding my hubby’s cloth. But he has hands nah, not funny mehn
Taemie: Yea! That’s right, plus children’s own sef.

BTW! Can I just pin-point the fact that a few months back, this young lady had a different view about life but being a career woman has changed her perspective. That’s Something to put in mind.

And then I spoke with the queen herself, you know how yoruba people always say a child’s name always speaks for him/her. She made that clear;
Taemie: Can You wash and Iron for ur husband? I’m talking of doing it every weekend like normal laundry stuff.
Queen: No!
Taemie: LMAO!!! Very concise
Queen: Lol
Taemie: I like dt jare, no need to beat about the bush. (y)
Queen: Abi o. I can’t,ma mum doesn’t :]x so y shd I. =))
We go buy washin machine if na so
Taemie: We thank God for washing machines and drycleaners. O:)

The next person I spoke too actually surprised me too cos she looks very much like a stay at home wife, if you know what I mean. I asked her the normal question and she replied with;
Ebun: Huh?
Taemie: Loool!
Ebun: hmmnn, Well he’ll have to wash and iron mine too every weekend ;;). Abi na
Taemie: *Hi 5*
Ebun: Yeah babe. *Hi 5*

Obviously, some people do not share the same view with others. I actually thought everyone was going to say the same thing until I spoke with Ope.
Taemie: Can You wash and Iron for ur husband? I’m talking of doing it every weekend like normal laundry stuff.
Horpe: Yes, there is washing machine and its ur duty as a wife
Taemie: When I have job and children to take care of?
Horpe: Yes
Taemie: Issorai! Thanks for your time.
Didn’t seem like Ope wanted to say too much about the topic so I didn’t try to push further. BUT! ‘Its ur duty as a wife’? *raised eyebrow* issok!

That wasn’t all, I also had a chat with one last but not the least person, we go way back since secondary school… Iyeokan(I’m sure the spelling is wrong, I always spell it wrong. Sigh*)
As You already know, I asked her the question and she was like:
Brown Sugar: Yea.
Taemie: Ok cool! Now let’s imagine. You have a good paying job dt you luv very much.
You work everyday and obviously come back home tired, will You still wash his cloths if he asks you to?
Brown Sugar: Uncertain
Taemie: Hmmnn! Thanks for ur time tho.
After the brief interview(s), I decided to relax and analyse. There’s something I noticed, almost everybody kept talking about *washing machine*. Did I miss something? I believe someone has to operate the washing machine before it works… Yes? No? Doesn’t dt mean you’re actually washing it already?

Now, in the beginning of this write-up, I remember saying I was less busy and that was why I was asked to help. You can’t expect me as a wife, a mother and a career woman to get back from work probably the same time with you and still do your laundry(errr… We could actually do it together, I wash… You rinse :d).
Nevertheless, if my Job is not so tedious and you satisfy me with the BASIC NEEDS, why not? I will bathe for You if need be sef #justkidding.
The most important thing in a relationship last last is COMMUNICATION and of cos its twin, UNDERSTANDING.

By Tamie
taemiesblog.wordpress.com